Even really if I do all these stuffs , i don't intend to tell anyone at all .

I know you are angry at me when I ask you that , when I said that I wanted to do that . Maybe doing that , I feel happier . It's just worth it for myself . I know you mean me good , you don't want me to end up to be like you doing all these stuffs . I just feel like trying , that's all . Just try one , but when I tried , it will only not be one , but more and more . You keep asking me , whether really that's my decision . Maybe that is really mine decision , who knows . For fun ? Maybe .

Today , I had GB . After GB , went burger king to eat with les partner ! Talk about a lot of things to her , I asked her that I feel like doing something . I said , I just feel like . She said , if I do that , I have failed GOD . Then we went popular walkwalk , and then I ask her again , what If I really do that ? Will you still be friends with me ? She said , yes , because I'm doing that too . I ask , have you ever regretted ? She said yes . Yesterday , when I went to find kiawei and Dianel at 540 to slack after school , I asked kiawei that too . She said , don't ever do that , she scolded me . She said , don't be like her . Seeing her trying , I feel like trying too . Because it seems like everyone is doing that . At the losing end . Sobs ):

Hmm , going church later , ciaoooo .

I vent my anger on the 7km run , I vent my anger on the swimming trail these few days . I vent everything out when I run and swim .

There is nothing wrong with my name . Today , at bus I hear everything . What to do ? They want say until like this , what can I do ? My mood goes down more , my mood has already been very down these few days . Just not showing , just keep quiet . I don't know to be angry , I don't know whether to be upset , I don't know whether to cry or what ? Inside my heart , I'm like thinking what is wrong man . Who can I really turn to ? I feel like being alone , I go shopping alone at bishan later to buy new year clothes . I want to be alone , just alone for this day . I feel like cutting hair , I know my hair is innocent , shouldn't be venting my anger on my own precious hair . When I keep cutting my hair , someday , I think my hair will just slowly go botak .

I'm just continue to ignore you until you give a clear explanation , don't always rely on people to pass msg through me . I know the reason , but seriously I spechless already . You say what , is your xin li problem . Ayia , I don't know you lah . Like talk , just talk , don't like to talk , then don't talk . I don't know what to do already .

I love this song , this has become my favourite song (:

Stevie Hoang - Changes lyrics

yeah, see youre my shawty
tryna take it back to the way it used to be
it was all good just a weak ago
now im starting to notice a little bit of change (lets go)

it dont take much for rme to make you mad baby
and lately girl it seems like ive been driving you crazy
tell me how we got this way, theres just so much i can take
it feels like we gotta make a change

oh girl, i know i did you wrong in the past
oh girl, i thought we moved on and let it go
but i guess i was wrong, and im tryna be strong
but its breaking my heaart

can we go back to how we used to be
lets work it out cause i dont wanna leave
its driving me crazy, im missin my baby
can you tell me whats changed

can we go back to how we used to be
girl it seems like you wanna turn your back on me
its driving me crazy, im missin my baby
can you tell me whats changed

its like the situations going from bad to worse
and now it seems like everything i do just aint good enough
hey, i do my best to make it work
but you know we cant keep goin on this way, baaby

oh girl, i know i did you wrong in the past
oh girl, you know i (pledge?) us so many times
and now i dont know, if i should go
cause i dont want to do this no more

can we go back to how we used to be
lets work it out cause i dont wanna leave
its driving me crazy, im missin my baby
can you tell me whats changed
(can you tell me oooh)

can we go back to how we used to be
girl it seems like you wanna turn your back on me
its driving me crazy, im missin my baby
(im missin my baby)
can you tell me whats changed

you know things just arent gettin better
baby we gotta make it right
girl i aint even sure if we'll ever
get back to the way we were
and im not gonna play, like everythings alright
we've been through to much to let it go
baby i just wanna know
can we start over again (yeaaah)

lets try to start over baby (ooh girl)
??????
??????
you my shawty tryna take you back to day one
here you see me changing, you dont need to change none
im the dude you think about before you try to (creep?)
im the dude you think about before you go to sleep
shawty fresh, ??????
time is money you know, gotta tell me (lets go! haha)

can we go back to how we used to be
lets work it out cause i dont wanna leave
its driving me crazy, (driving me crazy)
im missin my baby (missing my baby)
can you tell me whats changed
(girl i wanna know)

can we go back to how we used to be
(said i wanna know)
girl it seems like you wanna turn your back on me
(baby can you tell me why)
its driving me crazy, im missin my baby
(im missin my baby)
can you tell me whats changed

Who knows deep down how I feel ? I came to knew about a lot of things . Things I find it unfair , I find it maybe ridiculous . I was being taught that , no matter how tough the situation is , we got to stay strong and believe that something will work out . Always stay positive because we are not alone . All these obstacles , we got to overcome . Maybe some people don't like us , we just got to tolerate . Even though a person talked bad about you , we shouldn't be talking bad but just keep quiet . Doing something you find it hard to , I'm reminded to always think twice , thrice , or even four or five times . When you made a commitment , believe it because you commit into it and it will happen . Decisions you made , you take responsible of it and bear the consenquences ourselves . Sometimes , some things you heard , hurt you , made you cry . But , always believe that don't give up because something one day will work out . I always encourage myself . Sometimes , inside my heart there is always a behind voice telling me that you can do it , stay strong . I don't know why , this voice keep reminding me . Sometimes , it makes me cry when it keep reminding me . I was touched by how I really changed a lot . A lot says , I have changed to a better person . They said , they have seen my grown . I was really happy , I came to realised that nothing is impossible . Because everyone can do it , It lies with your attitude of how you think . Always have the determination and have high hopes on yourself . Think far , think great things . Sometimes , things you heard may have disappoint you , but we got to accept it .

Wow , I step on dog shit today . Luckily I didn't step fully on it . Just half of it , I'm like arghhh .

Team building games was fun today (: I learn some dance steps !

Being faithful in your whatever things you do , being faithful to what you have promised , being faithful to what you have told yourself , and being faithful to GOD . Test are given in our life to test us , we got to accept and solve it . Test are given to us in our lives to test us so that we realised and learnt from our mistakes . It makes us become a better person . It makes us more sure of what we are doing the next time . I believe that when you prayed for it , and do things that is honouring GOD you deserve what you want .  

Today , all the responsibilities just came . I complained , and come to think of it I shouldn't be complaining . Since I agreed to it , trust , believe and confident in yourself . Do everything without complaining or arguing (:  I think about a lot of stuffs at bus on my way home after my lunch with the GB girls . And I was dozing off at the bus as well . What had happened today , what had I seen today . Patience and toleration is what I remembered .

I should be the the one not liking your character instead , but it's you . But I didn't not dislike you . I just pretend like nothing happened . You stare at me , then everytime you walk past me with that look . What did I do wrong ? I didn't even like do anything to you , It seems like I owe you . Don't judge me when you don't even know me . There is this phrase that says : " In life you don't know a person inside out ." Stopped judging me dude . After what I heard , I'm shocked . There is so much I want to say . But I don't feel like .

I'm sick ): I lost my voice , I got flu .

I attended batispm class yesterday at church . I'm getting my confirmation soon in three more months ! Finally , I waited for three years . We talk about believing in class yesterday . If your believing in a person becomes blur , the believing would disappear . It's all up to us to chose whether to believe .

I studied at school today with friends . I'm sick sick again . I got cough and flu , GAHHHH :X I walked from the first floor to fourth floor , I walked around the whole school . Thinking about a lot of things in my mind .